Hayes interview

Sharon Hayes appropriates and recontextualizes signs, photos, and speeches sometimes as an act of revolution/ defiance and sometimes as sociological/artistic research.  I found Hayes interest in the nature of collecting,  "collecting is rooted in a  possessive urge"pg.80, and her take on photos as part of this possessive urge interesting.  "I'm not looking at just the body in the image; I'm looking through the desiring eye of the camera" "I wanted to generate an archival document that...demonstrates a desiring camera, something that shows how the camera seduces"pg. 81.
The photo is capturing the image it holds the object of its desire but also points back to the gaze of the photographer and the desire for collecting as a possessive act.  Usually the act of revealing the desires of the (unseen)photographer is a side effect of capturing/collecting an image. How do you delve into this usually subconscious act deliberately without distorting or changing the desire?

Acting alone Acting in a group: Acting as a group for performance and acting alone as research.  The research of performing is not only watching the reaction of the public that come across the performance but the act of watching the feelings that come up in the body and ming of the performer as well.

A matter of language:  reading someone else's speech or holding someone else's sign adds many layers of meaning.  A chorus reading a love letter written in the first person singular changes the meaning of the letter.  Hayes seems to be playing with the art of organizing and possibly "collecting" people. Even if she doesn't want to be clear with what she is saying she still wants to claim her right to hold a part of the political space of public protest/ speech/ assembly. The "Janus faced" act of considering the act by looking forward and back is so meta and so modern to the way I often feel- thinking about thinking so I don't actually have to think about how messed up or helpless I may feel.

Artists Be Like: " I don't say I'm an artist...because then they think they know what I'm doing"pg.88. Right on sista.
"Artists and historians are alike in a certain sense.  One of the biggest challenges is how to embark on a search and truly not know where you are going" pg.89. One of the most underrated goals in setting out on a project and research.  One of the skills I see lacking in most people.  They want an assignment they want to know what it will be when they are done, they want to know that it CAN be done.  If you already know how to do it it is not truly a unique creation.

Paranoid Reading

I really enjoyed the name of this chapter.  I had to look up the word "hermeneutics" and I still am not sure I understand its usage with "hermeneutics of suspicion".  Some interesting walking away points for me were reparative=love and paranoia=repression of same sex desire.  I have paranoid tendencies, I am overly aware of everything that can go wrong.  I like to prepare for these possible wrong things so that I am not surprised. But I also get so overwhelmed by the possibilities of problems that I give up and try to wing it.  So what is more is more problematic the belief that I can ever be prepared enough or the belief that I can never fully be prepared?
Paranoia is a practice that is mutable with transformation..."it is sometimes the most paranoid-tending people who are able to, and need to, develop and disseminate the richest reparative practices" pg 150 Sedgwick.  By putting this constant energy into imagining the worst it is necessary to also spend considerable time and energy into imagining ways to bring reparation/love into the world.  I like to think that the same powers of mind and empathy can create talent for both practices.

Behind

I feel so behind already...This school year along with my school.  I usually talk to my husband about my school meaning my job but now I have to call it my work.  I used to call my making art my work.  So is making art now my school or is school any "class" which is not class but posts?  

The "class" discussions don't feel very discussiony yet.  I don't see a place to respond to every persons ideas because we are all replying to Tyler's post.  

I think it was Yanique's reply that made me want to share my way of finding freedom in uncertainty...

I try to do what I can when I can my way.  I know I could do better if I did less sometimes.  I try to call myself on my own bullshit, I try to notice when I am supporting systems that I do not believe in; life is too short for that.  I try not to beat myself up; life is too long for that.

Whether you work for the system or against the system you are still ultimately work for the system- politics.  The only way to distance yourself from the system is to disregard the system.  Easier said than done.

My husband wants us to move onto a boat; just sail and live.  I try to live on a "boat" of my own freewill in the sea of chaos that "the man" is constantly churning.  I look for others who have distanced themselves from the hysterical drama of daily "news" and modern "needs".

JUST in Time

Ideas about the  just in time toyotaism vs Fordism.  Production at the ready vs production when you need it.  Flexibility in the work force and in the production line.  Total tie in to the Just in Time performance- a performance of the new normal in the employment world.   When watching the performance I was interested in the audience participation element.   Get up on stage, make room get comfortable was not offered until the audience had already been moving with the performers for a bit.  The movement around the clock was interesting visually and sociologically precisely because there were so many people on stage.  The three of them would have been too easy to watch and too obviously rehearsed.  "if you rehearse it can't be performance art".

First week of school

Everything happens at once.  the lesson planning and the meeting new people, Lots of new people.  I work to get the names right away and to establish a culture of kindness and learning.  Already I see I have two difficult classes, no spirited classes... Plus SAIC has these culture and climate required classes, diversity and sexual harassment awareness- I would like to test out please or age out for crying out loud.